Arrested Development

That is the term a good friend of mine used to describe us. Him because he has two kids and wants to make more money so his family can be more comfortable and me because i really have no idea what i need to be doing. Sometimes it feels as though you are standing at a cross roads, except that you just can't sit there and deliberate forever on which road to take. It's more like playing a certain kind of level in super mario brothers, you have to keep moving otherwise you are going to fall off the screen or get left behind (and unless you've been collecting some serious coin, you aren't going to have any extra lives). I've come to the conclusion that like everything else, life is one giant cycle. The economy is a cycle, human institutions live and die by cycles, history is a cycle, relationships with friends and girlfriends, family, it's all a process that keeps repeating itself. We know something until we forget it and the process of relearning it begins all over again. The last time i felt this way was my senior year of high school, things were changing rapidly, almost too rapidly to sift and sort through all of it. When times like this occur it can feel somewhat overwhelming, and when you are overwhelmed you tend to second guess some of the choices you make. Eventually in the end it all works out, but it's the journey, the filler between the two points where you learn more about yourself and what you expect from life and the people that fill it. When this cycle end's i won't be the same person i was when it began, but the peace of mind that you find when the trials and tribulations are over can be one of the best feelings in the world. Looking back it will be so simple, that you won't be able to believe it took so long to get to this conclusion. Perhaps what nature is trying to tell me is that what i used to gain a sense of self and identity all those years ago just isn't cutting it anymore. Time to discard what's not working and try new things, find a new source of inner power. I don't think i'm alone at this time, i think many people, perhaps even the entire country, is going through a process of self realization right now. The future seems so much more uncertain now for most, not just myself. I know for me at least that things will be for the better when the end does arrive, but what about the country in general? Are we living in denial? Can this empty consumer life style continue indefinitely? Or will some sort of austerity be forced upon the general population? I think Operation Ivy said it best "all i know is that i don't know". This song resonates with me alot lately

Operation Ivy- Freeze up



Empty factories to the east and all our waste
The shape of things that came shows on the broken workers face
To the west you'll find our silicon promised lands where
Machines replace our minds for systematic profit plans
The course of human progress staggers like a drunk
Its steps are quick and heavy and its mind is slow and blunt
I look for optimism but I just don't know
Its seeds are planted in a poison place where nothing grows

Its 1989 stand up and take a look around
Weathers bitter tension it seems is sinking down
Drunk with power and fighting one another
Every hour shows the winter getting harder

Theres a freeze up
(theres a freeze up coming)
Theres a freeze up
(freeze up coming)
Theres a freeze up
(theres a freeze up coming)
Theres a freeze up coming

One nation stands the tallest radiating blinding light
Plastic and fluorescent energy robbing us of sight
Set in our way content with our decay
We wave the flag of freedom as we conquer and invade
Ever ask yourself wheres my place in this hell
But no ones there to tell you cause they don't know that themselves
The well rehearsed lines from our elated politicians
No longer offer solace we can see the self destruction

Its 1989 stand up and take a look around
Weathers bitter tension it seems is sinking down
Drunk with power and fighting one another
Every hour shows the winter getting harder

Just one political song
Just one political song to drop into the list that stretches years and years long
Just one political song
Just one political song to drop into the list that stretches years and years long
Static and division is increasing like a storm
We are sheltered
We are forewarned
Nothing can be changed except ourselves
Nothing can be changed except ourselves